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When I was in college at U.C. Davis it was a real treat to go to a burger diner named Murder Burger.  It certainly wasn’t gourmet but good burgers, amazing onion rings and wonderful shakes.  At least that’s what I remember from the late 80’s.  My husband went there too as a student and had the same memory.  Since living in the Bay Area, we would pass Murder Burger on the way to Tahoe over the years and talk about how we should stop on the way home.  Strangely it just never happened.  One of us would be too tired, or we’d just eaten or just not up for a burger meal.  Later the excuses were our kids – sleeping (no need to wake on a long drive) or cranky.

One time we noticed the name had been changed to Redrum Burger.  Apparently there were some people in a neighboring town who thought the name was too violent, but noting else was changed.  (I thought the change was more about the Jack Nicholson movie.)

However last weekend we did it.  On our way back from skiing in Tahoe, we decided to take our kids to our old college favorite.  It was exactly the same from the looks of it.  And by this I mean they hadn’t done anything to change or improve in almost 20 years.  Reading the menu on the table with a story about the restaurant, we realized they opened in 1986.  My first year of school!  No wonder it looked clean and new then.

We still had high hopes.  Our kids were as patient as possible, but it took over 20 minutes for the food to come.  It food looked pretty much the same.  However I don’t remember so much grease.  When I bit into the onion ring, I was sorry.  The big dark thick, once crunchy rings were all but a skinny onion and all doughy inside.  My daughter even asked “is that a doughnut?”  We were so dissappointed.

I had been saving the thought of the four of us sharing a shake – choco banana, my college favorite.  Afterall the only time we have a shake is if I make them.  The menu still boasted of fresh season fruit in their shakes.  I though maybe this would be the redemption.  However when I went to order one, there was no one behind the counter.  We waited another 5 minutes and gave up.  Finally I decided the memory of the shake could be preserved as the best I’d ever had, if I didn’t have another.  The kids were dissappointed, however they didn’t want to wait all day either.

When I told my friend about my past favorite turning to a present dissappointment she asked “Do you think your standards are higher now?”  She had a good point.  Yes, I’m sure they are.  I wasn’t a food snob back then and certainly didn’t wat as healthy.  But I still like to think it was better back in the 80’s…like many things.

I went to an amazing summit this weekend called Teens Turning Green.  These teenages started a cause and are educating other teenagers as well as parents, communities, stores, and activists about the hazards in everyday products that effect them (and everyone).  They’re getting notice and are even changing public policy.  They’re investigating everything from the lipstick they wear, to the snacks they eat, to the janitorial supplies used in their schools.  They’re questioning it all, demanding change, and coming up with greener alternatives.  If they can’t find these alternatives in the marketplace – they’ve actually created them under they’re own label.  They have a list of Dirty 30 (harmful chemicals in everyday products: some already banned in Europe) and Green Alternatives (list of companies with products not using these chemicals).

It was so inspiring.  The event had panels of experts in the area of making your life more green – both for the good of your health and the good of the environment.  Of course of particular note to me was the panel regarding food and especially locally grown organics.  The panel included the producer of Food Inc. as well as representatives from Epicurian Foods (fresh, organic foods for schools), Marin Organic (association of organic producers) and Marin Agricultural Institute (promotes a viable food system, manages farmer’s markets in Bay Area).   They spoke about the injustices of factory farming, labor violations in food manufacturing (organic and commercial) and the rise in health issues related to the industrialization of our food.   More than ever your local farmers need your support, and we need their local, sustainable, organic foods.

And while organic fresh food is a passion of mine, I realize through the other discussions and panels that I need to focus more on the other areas of my family’s lifestyle and that is what we put on our bodies.  I came home to find many of our household body products (lotion, “natural” body washes and make-up) have some potentially hazardous chemicals in them.  I’m on a mission to make that change, as I research sites like EcoStilletto, a blog about being fashionable in a healthy and environmentally responsible way.  In case you’re interested here’s the link to The Big List of Things That Suck, which includes animal testing, bisphenol A, Diethanolamine (DEA) and high fructose corn syrup, among other things.

I belong to a large mom’s group that posts a variety (everything from baby gear tips to restaurants for a date night and anything in between) messages, questions and comments.  Someone shared this article in the New York Times about kids and snacks.  It is a great read and hits home for many parents – myself included.  When does snack time end?  

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/20/dining/20gusti.html

Some days it seems I’m in the kitchen all day preparing meals and then snacks between.  And like the writer, I too am faced with all the requests for snacks to bring to occassions.  However I don’t mind, most of the time, because it means something healthy will be there.  If left to someone else, I don’t know what my kids will snack on.  Yes, it’s a control thing for me.  Knowing there are dietary restrictions and allergies, I have an arsenal of appropriate snacks.  But I also get lots of questions for ideas for snacks and know it’s hard to get creative (that’s pretty much why I wrote my latest book).

However I understand the writer’s frustration with snack time being all day long for some kids.  Because of this I have started to limit things I have to eat in my own bag.  (No need for nuts and dried fruit and apple slices and cheese and mini sandwiches) .  I too want my kids to play and engage, not sit on the sidelines and eat snacks.   But I see the triggers.  When my kids are at the park and see other kids eating they’ll ask for something.  Food is social.  Food can also be comforting for kids (adults too), and they’ll ask for a snack if in a new surrounding and are not yet ready to join in a play.  It can also be a distraction or help with boredom (especially when they ask for food in the car).  So if we’re only out for an hour or so, or if they’ve just eaten, I only bring water. 

This brings me to my next point.  They won’t starve.   I meet so many parents that say “but they’re hungry”.  This gets out of hand as some parents give snacks after dinner (and even dessert) or get manipulated into becoming short order cooks because kids don’t want what’s offered for dinner.  That’s the way it goes.  As my mom would say “like it or lump it”.  Sorry if that sounds harsh.   

I try not to think of “snack” as a bad word.  The connotation of snack has somehow become a bag or box of something eaten on the run, when I like to think of it as a mini meal – fuel to help kids going thru their active lives.  If I can find time to cut an apple and spread it with sunflower butter or peel a banana, why can’t another parent.  Why always go for prepackaged snacks with additives, preservatives and empty calories?  And yes, the billions of dollars spent on marketing unhealthy snacks is appalling.  But let’s stand our ground.  If eating healthy is something that’s important to your family, teach kids about healthy food choices and bring something healthy, that they like.  Go ahead and pass by the vending machine and other offerings.  No, it’s true you may not be the most popular parent, and believe me it does sometimes get uncomfortable. 

But if you offer a healthy snack then does it really matter if dinner is spoiled?  When my kids say “I’m hungry” and I’m in the middle of making dinner, I pull out some carrots, edamame and hummus.  If they truly are hungry they’ll eat it.  But if they’re bored and just looking for something from the pantry (i.e. crackers, rice cakes etc) they’ll say “Nevermind, I’ll wait for dinner”.  And if they fill up on the veggies and don’t eat much at dinner, they had some good food.